There have been a few things lately God has been pressing in on my heart that I don’t really want to forget when I look back on this time. This adoption process, specifically fundraising right now, has been painful. It’s not all been that way, but there are so many ups and downs. I tend to recall much more often, the negative things that have happened over the tremendous generosity and kindness that has been displayed to us by many. It’s easy to get lost on the multiple printing errors in the 1st order of t-shirts (which are still being working out) and the delay in placing the 2nd order of t-shirts due to the errors, or the feeling of being out of ideas to raise the money, or just the awareness that I’m not meeting the expectations I had for what successful fundraising would look like. Please don’t take this as me wallowing in self-pity, but more a moment of vulnerability. I know there are so many who have gone before us that have felt the stresses that come with the adoption process and many who will come after us that will experience them as well. I am confident that God has made this part of the process especially taxing in order to teach us and prepare us for the even messier parts of adoption and parenting that are still to come. It is not by accident nor by error that fundraising has not been as smooth as the filling out of paperwork piles. I am learning, very slowly (and sadly not without resistance), that I am far too dependent on myself instead of God. These funds will not be raised the way I expected…and honestly, that is beginning to excite me. I’m kind of pumped to see what God does and how He puts Himself on display. I definitely didn’t start out that way, but I’ve been graciously reminded of the following:
- God is powerful- He is powerful enough to make the adoption happen and to fully fund us however He sees fit.
- God is patient- He is ever so patient with my stubbornness and continues to graciously break me and teach me through His Word, His people, and through circumstance.
- He has always been and will always be faithful and trustworthy- there is no reason not to believe He will be faithful to us in this adoption process. We fully believe God has placed adoption on our hearts for a reason and should trust Him to reveal the ways He wants us to pursue that.
- He chooses to work and provide in unexpected ways- we really shouldn’t be surprised that God doesn’t do things the way we envisioned and it’s been shown that He has more in store for us than we anticipated through His plans.
- Even when all our efforts fail, His will not- I cannot measure God’s ability, by my own. I’m realizing that even when I don’t see a way, that doesn’t mean God doesn’t have a way. God’s love should be measured by the cross and His power by the resurrection…so how could I possibly continue to doubt Him in light of that.
These reminders have given me great encouragement and continue to challenge my heart to have faith and hope in God. Yall, Jeremy and I really are so thankful to be in the adoption process and we are incredibly blessed by the number of people who have been walking through it with us. Please continue to pray for our eyes to be fixed on Jesus and for God to provide for the sweet little baby that He has already chosen to place in our care.
Oh, I almost forgot to share…we are officially partnered with the consultant group we applied to! YAY! I will share more on that in my next post!