Sometimes I text myself emails that of things I have had on my mind in order to remind myself to blog about them, well I have a lot of those little blurbs to catch up on…but my head is hurting real bad tonight, so I am going to try and condense them into a rapid fire form:
– I need to remember not to neglect the ONE relationship that will never fail, disappoint, dissatisfy, hurt me spiritually, or let me down. My relationship with Christ is the one I absolutely need to pursue deeper and focus on. This relationship takes precedence over all else and growing in it is of utmost importance…so why is it the one that so often takes the back seat?
– I need to love even more God’s best for me as it is so much better than anything I have in mind for my life. I get so caught up in the could-have-beens and the wish-it-would-bes that I forget God’s plan for my life is better, it’s greater, it’s more glorious because it’s lived for Him and it falls into the grand plan He has for eternity!
– I need to make a more glorious mess with His gospel. I don’t speak His truth enough and look for enough ways to turn a conversation to Him. I don’t look often enough for ways to die to myself, go out of my way, and love people. I need to be Christ to this world because I am filled with Him.
– Grief carves out more room for joy. God is good in even the toughest, most horrific of circumstances and joy is not dependent on the situation, but on Christ who NEVER changes. Joy is constant because He is and therefore when I experience pain and sorrow, I am only related that much more to my suffering Savior in whom I find great joy for salvation and hope for the glory which is to be revealed! My grief lets me FEEL the gospel, it makes it come alive in me, which brings joy to be experienced more fully!
– I need to pray more often and Biblically. I have been asked by two dear sisters in Christ to pray each day while they are in Africa. My friend Katrina is in Ethiopia and my friend Natalie is in Kenya. I am so excited for all the ways God will use them for His Kingdom work and am endeavoring to be faithful in prayer for them and the people they encounter! God will do great things and will stop at nothing to make His name known among the nations…He will prevail and how gracious He is to use wretches like us in His redemptive plan! I also need to be praying for ways to make an impact on my community for His glory; especially with the new living location where I can meet neighbors and others around me with the purpose of sharing Christ with them.
– I must learn to not buy into the lies of Satan. All these insecurities I have about myself are Satan’s schemes to keep me from community with my brothers and sisters in Christ. Satan hates the Body and wants for it to be destroyed and rendered useless. I fear with meeting new people that no one will accept me, wonder where will I fit in, will they care about me, will they judge, neglect, reject, ignore?? I need to trust that God in His goodness will surround me with the fellowship that He sees fitting for me in the times that He sees fit and that will be GOOD. I need to focus more on striving for Christ-likeness than acceptance by man. I am acceptable to the God of the universe (and only because of the righteousness and life of His son), so I need not worry about the acceptance of others if I am living each moment for His glory. It’s especially frustrating to me that so often I seek approval from people who are mostly hurtful toward me, when I already have the approval of those who love me unconditionally (both some in my family, the Body, and even more so Christ).
– Even in days of doubt and feeling lost, God is still God, He is still good, and He is still pursuing me. I am freshly amazed and thankful for His patience with me as I am so wavering. I am refreshed in my mission and purpose to love Him and love others. I am grateful for character of Him and of others being revealed to me. I am learning to rejoice in the Lord, have a spirit of gentleness and kindness, and to give everything over to Him so that I may have peace because of Him!
Ok, well my head is still pounding, so I will stop there with the rapid fire thoughts. I went to the Young Pro’s kickoff at Summit on Thursday and got to meet a few people there, so I am looking forward to hopefully forming some new friendships by going to more of those meetings on Thursday. Please be praying for me to come out of my shell to get to know people and let them get to know me (trusting that they may actually want to). I spent a lot of this weekend spending time with my family, went to see The Avengers, laying by the pool with Callie, trying to rest since I got sick again with a silly cold virus (SO LAME!), going to Summit Saturday night, and then going to church today–> like I said before, my head hurts, so I am not going to outline the notes from any of that today, but a few of the things I posted above were thoughts that went along with the sermons. This afternoon, I went to Pastor Aaron’s goodbye party. Seriously going to miss this guy! He has made such an impact in my life for how I do ministry and it has been my great pleasure to serve alongside of him. I am grateful for all he has done and can’t wait to hear how God uses him over in California! Thankful to have this one last summer camp with him before he goes! When I got home, I finally got to talk to my brother (I don’t know if I mentioned this before, but he is in Charlotte doing and internship with Siemens and will be going to UNC Charlotte starting in the fall to finish his degree in Mechanical Engineering) and it was so good just to hear how he is doing. Praying for God to do big things in his heart and his life. Alright, well that’s all for today folks…hope you all had a wonderful weekend!