Hey everyone! Yesterday, I was just not feeling myself. I have debated on whether to even share everything that I was thinking, but for some reason I feel that you should know me even in my “not so great” times. I was sad most of the day; just one of those days where the only word to really describe how you feel is ‘blah.’ It was one of those days where I just felt stuck. I was thinking about the year to come and what I had to look forward to, what developments were in my life…and it was weird because I really just felt like everything was at a stand still. I am excited about being done with school, but really my life won’t change much after that. I don’t even really get a break…just continuing work. Pathetically enough, then I was thinking about how I don’t have a relationship that would be developing either (I’m at that stage of life where many friends are engaged or their relationships are getting close to that and if I were still in one probably would be as well) or a lot of new people to meet. I started to think about how even my mom’s cancer is at a halt; it’s still there (had been getting weary of that battle) but nothing is really being done with it. Everything that is going on in life is just continuing, but feeling as if it is going nowhere. Sounds silly right?? Well Satan was definitely attacking when I least expected it. I think over the past year, life has changed so much and I have grown so much more and at a faster rate than ever before and now things seem to be leveling out and I just don’t like that. Maybe I don’t know how to deal with the mundane as well now. Life hasn’t been typical for a little over a year and I guess I’m having to figure out how to best pursue God and pursue holiness right now. Anyways, now that I have revealed the frustrating struggle of my heart, I will say that God quickly revealed the lack of Truth in my thoughts. I was reminded that I don’t know where I will be in a year or what my life will look like. God’s plan is not known by me, but it’s His plan and it WILL happen! I remembered even when I have no idea what is coming in life and why things are the way they are, God still has it under control. When things just seem to be on auto pilot, God is not. He is working and He is in control. I need to relearn to love God’s plan for my life and recognize that His best for me is better than my best for me. I was reminded that it’s all about Him. He is God over all times! It’s not even about me; I have to get over myself and remember that I need to be content apart from circumstances…whether those circumstances are bad or good or in between. These times are keeping me close to God and keeping me from thinking I have everything together or that I can focus on myself. God is showing me that no matter what, His grace is sufficient; through the big trials that I have to face and through the little trials that I go through daily (even when those little trials sneak up so unexpectedly). Thankfully, dgroup was last night…it was seriously exactly what I needed to snap out of the funk I had been in all day. I love those ladies so incredibly much! They are such an encouragement to me as we share what we are learning, pray for each other, and love each other as sisters in Christ! I got to lead it last night and was really happy that it seemed to go well; really though, I didn’t have to do too much to lead! God is just so good and so gracious!
Today, I got off work a little bit early 🙂 I also got to meet Laura for frozen yogurt!!! I hadn’t had frozen yogurt in quite some time and it’s been way too long since I got to meet with Laura! I love getting to hear about her life and catching up with her!