Thinking About Life

Hey everyone! Yesterday, I was just not feeling myself. I have debated on whether to even share everything that I was thinking, but for some reason I feel that you should know me even in my “not so great” times. I was sad most of the day; just one of those days where the only word to really describe how you feel is ‘blah.’ It was one of those days where I just felt stuck. I was thinking about the year to come and what I had to look forward to, what developments were in my life…and it was weird because I really just felt like everything was at a stand still. I am excited about being done with school, but really my life won’t change much after that. I don’t even really get a break…just continuing work. Pathetically enough, then I was thinking about how I don’t have a relationship that would be developing either (I’m at that stage of life where many friends are engaged or their relationships are getting close to that and if I were still in one probably would be as well) or a lot of new people to meet. I started to think about how even my mom’s cancer is at a halt; it’s still there (had been getting weary of that battle) but nothing is really being done with it. Everything that is going on in life is just continuing, but feeling as if it is going nowhere. Sounds silly right?? Well Satan was definitely attacking when I least expected it. I think over the past year, life has changed so much and I have grown so much more and at a faster rate than ever before and now things seem to be leveling out and I just don’t like that. Maybe I don’t know how to deal with the mundane as well now. Life hasn’t been typical for a little over a year and I guess I’m having to figure out how to best pursue God and pursue holiness right now. Anyways, now that I have revealed the frustrating struggle of my heart, I will say that God quickly revealed the lack of Truth in my thoughts. I was reminded that I don’t know where I will be in a year or what my life will look like. God’s plan is not known by me, but it’s His plan and it WILL happen! I remembered even when I have no idea what is coming in life and why things are the way they are, God still has it under control. When things just seem to be on auto pilot, God is not. He is working and He is in control. I need to relearn to love God’s plan for my life and recognize that His best for me is better than my best for me. I was reminded that it’s all about Him. He is God over all times! It’s not even about me; I have to get over myself and remember that I need to be content apart from circumstances…whether those circumstances are bad or good or in between. These times are keeping me close to God and keeping me from thinking I have everything together or that I can focus on myself. God is showing me that no matter what, His grace is sufficient; through the big trials that I have to face and through the little trials that I go through daily (even when those little trials sneak up so unexpectedly). Thankfully, dgroup was last night…it was seriously exactly what I needed to snap out of the funk I had been in all day. I love those ladies so incredibly much! They are such an encouragement to me as we share what we are learning, pray for each other, and love each other as sisters in Christ! I got to lead it last night and was really happy that it seemed to go well; really though, I didn’t have to do too much to lead! God is just so good and so gracious!

Today, I got off work a little bit early 🙂 I also got to meet Laura for frozen yogurt!!! I hadn’t had frozen yogurt in quite some time and it’s been way too long since I got to meet with Laura! I love getting to hear about her life and catching up with her!

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4 thoughts on “Thinking About Life

  1. I know how you feel Megan. I spend a lot of time wrestling with the same kind of thoughts. Really, most of life is lived in what we call the mundane. Yet, I have come to believe that nothing is mundane if we choose to enjoy and glorify God in it. I have felt it is in those times that God wants to see if we are faithful in the little things. Things we see as insignificant. He teaches us perseverance in the mundane. Even at my age, I am still looking for His plan for my life and direction. Sometimes I try to see too far into the future and fail to enjoy Him where I am now. But, thankfully, He is a loving Heavenly Father that gently guides us through each step and is not standing there ready to pounce on us when we mess us. He is so wonderful. Living life in Christ is always and adventure! Even in the mundane.

    • Thank you for that Aunt Sandra! I am so thankful that God is so loving and so patient when I am making myself more significant than I ought to be (to where He isn’t in the picture as much) and focusing all on my own circumstances. He is so faithful to bring me back to Him and make me see that He is always better…His plan is always what is happening and I need to savor in Him through ever moment of it (now and in the future). I am thankful to see that He is even God of what seems to be the mundane as well!

  2. Praying for you Megan! Your faith and strength amazes me 🙂 Keep you head up, sweet girl! I know those days and I know our awesome God has great thing in store for you !!! ❤

    • Thank you so much Kim! I am doing so much better even today…it didn’t take long for me to realize that God was teaching me something even in that moment. God is so good and so awesome! Unfortunately those off days do come (thankfully they don’t come often), but they make me even more grateful for the many days that I feel very close to God and focused on Truth!

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