It’s just been one of those weeks. It felt very long and last night, I just wanted to go out and do something fun with Ashley and then relax. It was a very nice night. Ashley and I went to a couple stores because I had some gift cards and Kohl’s cash. I got a few things from Kohl’s and Old Navy and also got Ashley a cute hat. Then we came home and Ashley watched Grey’s since she had to miss most of it on account of needing to go to bed before school the next day.
Right now, I am watching the VT game and during commercials, we are flipping to the Clemson game. GO HOKIES! Psyched about going to the game next weekend 🙂
Today, I woke up to go to the America’s. I figured it would be cancelled due to rain, but I kept checking for an update and never got one before needing to leave for the church. Once I got there, I found out it was indeed cancelled, but the trip wasn’t in vain. We were having our 25th Anniversary celebration at the church this weekend and I knew there would be people to see and things to do there anyways. Ended up that Pastor Aaron and his wife needed someone to watch their kids, so I got to do that all morning with Carrie! 🙂 It was really fun to take them around all the inflatables, games, face painting stations, and balloon animal stations. After getting the kids some lunch, we got to listen to some singing in the chapel and watch some couples play the “Newly Wed Game.” I am so glad that I could serve Aaron and Ingrid in this way and spend time with their sweet little children!
I was doing some much needed thinking today on my drive to the church. I haven’t taken the time to just quietly think lately. I need that time. I need to search my soul more often and really evaluate my heart. I realized this morning that I have been distracted lately; especially this week. My mind has not been focused and my life has not been as purposed as it should be. So I took some time to refocus and think about things that I have been letting captivate my mind. I am here on this earth for God’s glory; I am here to love Him and love others. I need to be actively seeking opportunities to further His Kingdom and diminish mine. I need to let go of the silly things that this world “seems” to offer and let go of the desires that do not line up with God’s will. I am having to seek the Lord’s forgiveness for longings that have consumed my thoughts, for things I have not repented of…I am having to surrender certain desires. I realized that I was not forgiving well because I may have been holding out for an apology more than I thought. I don’t actually expect one, nor am I really entitled to one. I am to forgive independent of another’s actions or lack of actions of reconciliation because Christ forgives me. I have been discontented by conversations I wish to have, but can’t seem to have for whatever reason (whether it is not truly necessary or it wouldn’t be “acceptable” or I just plain don’t know exactly what to say). I realized while driving that I should not be feeling bad for myself, I should not be focusing on myself at all. I realized how blessed I really am and how I am not made up of my mistakes, missed opportunities, or anything else apart from Christ. I lack nothing for holiness. I am being pursued by the God of the universe. I have purpose in life. I have JOY. I have perfect LOVE! What more could my mind want to dwell on and delight in. I am praying that I would not continue in distraction, that I would surrender all thoughts that are not focused on the One who is worthy of my thoughts! Maybe that made no sense at all or maybe that made complete sense because you have had a similar experience…either way, I just wanted to be real; I just wanted to share my struggle in the pursuit of Christ-likeness because it’s not easy and the flesh is constantly having to be killed. We need to be more aware of the battle that is going on within the soul, because it is a real battle and it will not stop until we are completely sanctified and with our glorious Savior! Oh, I can’t wait for that day!
I was reading the following Psalm (only post part of it, but I recommend reading the whole thing) and I was just reminded about how little I have to fear, worry about, or dwell on here. I just have to trust in the Lord. I just get to delight in Him, live for Him, and allow Him to do the rest. I am to be a vessel for His use and His glory. I am promised the desires of my heart if I delight in Him…because the desires of my heart will be HIM!!!! What beauty in that truth! This is what I want my mind to be focused on–> TRUTH! May God have His way in me and may I be nothing and God be EVERYTHING!
1 Do not fret because of evildoers,
Be not envious toward wrongdoers.
2 For they will wither quickly like the grass
And fade like the green herb.
3 Trust in the LORD and do good;
Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.
4 Delight yourself in the LORD;
And He will give you the desires of your heart.
5 Commit your way to the LORD,
Trust also in Him, and He will do it.
6 He will bring forth your righteousness as the light
And your judgment as the noonday.
7 Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him;
Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way,
Because of the man who carries out wicked schemes.
8 Cease from anger and forsake wrath;
Do not fret; it leads only to evildoing.
9 For evildoers will be cut off,
But those who wait for the LORD, they will inherit the land.
10 Yet a little while and the wicked man will be no more;
And you will look carefully for his place and he will not be there.
11 But the humble will inherit the land
And will delight themselves in abundant prosperity.