Well today was very very very long and I am glad that it’s over! I worked from 8-5pm and then headed straight to class from 6-9:30pm. For the first half hour of class, it was just me and 2 other students…the teacher hadn’t even shown up (I know, devoted students to stick around ;)) and then 2 other students came and the teacher as well. Somehow people thought the class was scheduled for later; so we have now moved the class to 6:30pm haha and will mostly likely get out before the scheduled ending time which was 9:50pm. The class only meets together 8/16 weeks of the semester and the rest of the hours are done in the center (it’s called a capstone–> basically a co-op/internship with certain assignments, goals, and tasks to complete along the way). The class was very overwhelming…I am very glad that it’s the only one I have left and therefore it’s the only one I have this semester! The most stressful part is figuring out how I am going to get my hours in with each age group since I work full-time in the Pre-K room (I am praying that somehow my director and I can work this out); I am thankful that I really don’t have to worry and stress about it because the Lord already has a plan for how the semester will go and it is a comfort to trust that!
Whew, ok now that the description of my long day is out of the way, I finally got a little time to write out Philippians again. Man was it harder…I really hate that I haven’t stuck with it lately. I really really love memorizing Scripture, but when I stopped for a while (when my schedule changed and I got too lazy to find a new time to do it) it became such a task. I need Scripture to transform my thinking and to consume my thoughts. I need to it focus my mind and my heart on the Lord, to protect me from sin, to fill me up with Truth! I was also excited about my long drive to Wake Tech today because it gave me a chance to just sing to the Lord. There is something about singing praises to Him that just can’t be replaced by anything else…and then there is just something wonderful about singing collectively as a body of believers that is irreplaceable as well. It’s one of the reasons I just crave Sunday mornings at church; just to worship the Lord together with my brothers and sisters is such a blessing (to worship through music, fellowship, the message, etc.).
Please be praying for my sweet mom’s chemo tomorrow. Her numbers still hadn’t gone up today, so they will have to give her that Neulasta shot again with her chemo tomorrow to help her body produce white blood cells. She is also having to take steroids to hopefully prevent her from having another allergic reaction to the drugs…really be praying for her chemo to go smoothly and for her nerves to be calmed. Pray that she would be overwhelmed by the peace of God tomorrow as she has to endure yet another treatment, that she and the rest of our family would continue to trust the Lord through this trial that is long, hard, and full of unknowns. Also be praying for my dad’s surgery on Friday. Pray that the doctors would have wisdom and the surgery would have no complications, that my dad would’t be in too much pain after the surgery. I am praying that I would be able to get off work as it seems that this week’s schedule may be too tight…I want to be there for my dad and even for my mom as she sits in the waiting room. There is no where I would rather be than supporting and blessing them in any way I can, so I pray that I can be there with them and encourage them!
Another thought that I had today was how slow healing really is (yes even physical healing, but I am really talking about emotional/internal healing in this case). It’s funny when you think you will never heal from something because it just feels like the pain was so intense or it has lasted for so long, but you look back and see how much healing has already taken place. What a gracious God that He doesn’t just strap a bandaid on us and we are all better instantly. What a gracious God that the pain lasts and as a result we are changed! I am realizing the blessing of being kept on my knees and being reminded of pain when I start to think I have it all together or begin to ignore the struggles. I think when we go through something hard, we should be a little worried if we don’t have to take time to get through it or we don’t have to deal with the hardship internally. There is no growth if the pain is just glazed over and ignored; there is no work being done if we are not allowing the circumstances He brings us through to prick our hearts and mold us into His image more (and that is a long and painful process). We get to relate to Him in our sorrow, pain, suffering, struggles…He knows our every trial and He is a God who can relate to our every hurt. What a kind, gracious, and generous God! Praise God that He loves us enough to bring us to the storms and then holds us the entire time as He brings us through to storm, even though the duration of the storm may be long and aftermath even longer. I am also grateful that while the healing is slow…there is healing! What a faithful God! And in the grand scheme of eternity, that struggle and pain is really only for a little while when you are in Christ! How sweet that Truth is! God’s grace is sufficient in even our most desperate times and His it is by His grace that healing comes!
And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.
2 Corinthians 12:8
After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you. To Him be dominion forever and ever. Amen.
1 Peter 5:10-11
No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it
1 Corinthians 10:13
The righteous cry, and the LORD hears
And delivers them out of all their troubles.
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted
And saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
But the LORD delivers him out of them all.
He keeps all his bones,
Not one of them is broken.
Evil shall slay the wicked,
And those who hate the righteous will be condemned.
The LORD redeems the soul of His servants,
And none of those who take refuge in Him will be condemned.
“These things I have spoken to you while abiding with you. But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you. Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.
Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.
In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ; and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, obtaining as the outcome of your faith the salvation of your souls.
1 Peter 1:6-9
and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed. For you were continually straying like sheep, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Guardian of your souls.
1 Peter 2:24-25
The LORD is my shepherd,
I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters.
He restores my soul;
He guides me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You have anointed my head with oil;
My cup overflows.
Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.