Grieving with Hope

This is one of those posts I never wanted to write, certainly didn’t expect to write this time around, and don’t really know where to start. Seriously, as I am sitting here typing, I don’t know how I want to begin this or where I will go with it…I just know I need to write. I need to write to process and to remember. I need to remember that God is faithful even in the midst of pain and grief. It’s been a little over 2 weeks now since we received the call informing us that the birth parents of Lucas’ baby sister plan to keep the baby. It honestly didn’t feel real; in fact I had to have the social worker repeat herself just to understand what was being said to me. As the reality began to set in, it was just overwhelming. Over the course of the past few weeks, emotions have surfaced (at rather random moments) that I didn’t even know I had. The grief comes in waves as we continue to process the news. One minute everything seems to be fine and the next minute crying. It’s weird and uncomfortable to be honest, but that’s where we are right now. We are striving to grieve well. It is a struggle to know how to grieve fully while there is this ever so small possibility for another change of mind from the birth parents, but we have to face our current reality as we know it. In the middle of all of this uncertainty, there are certainly a few things that remain true and unchanging: God has a plan that is better than ours, God is good and in control (ALWAYS), and He is near to us. Now, these truths don’t make the loss easy or the grief less real, but it does make us grieve with hope: Hope that He is working for our good and His glory. Hope that this is a light and momentary affliction that will not compare to the glory that is to come. Hope that God knows what He is doing while it doesn’t make any sense to us.

We don’t know why God brought this adoption into our lives at all. We hadn’t planned for this or asked for it, but we wanted to be obedient when it was brought to us. We aren’t sure why obedience has to look this way now or why we had to dream of a life with this little girl only to have that taken away so suddenly and unexpectedly. We have had to face the realization that the daughter we prayed for every night for the past 7 1/2 months won’t be in our arms. These are not small things, but we also take comfort in the fact that we don’t have a small God. He is big enough to handle these uncertainties, the questions, and the pain. He is understanding, kind, and gracious in walking through this with us.

Our community that has been so incredibly supportive and loving. They have surrounded us with prayer and constantly encouraged us in the Lord. They have allowed us to lean on them and have spurred us on in faith. They have hoped with us and grieved with us. We have truly not gone through this alone and for that, we are unceasingly grateful.

There is probably a lot more I could say and it would all just come out as jumbled random phrases, bouncing back and forth between confusion, understanding, anger/sadness, and hope…but I will spare you all further rambling at this point. If you think of us in the coming weeks, we ask simply that you pray for us. Our hearts are broken as we long to hold the baby girl that we have prepared diligently for and love so dearly. Pray that we remember she belongs to God first and that He is a good Father who loves her more than we ever could. Pray for the birth parents to have wisdom as they make decisions about her future. Pray for our hearts to heal, for grace in this grieving process, and for faith to trust God no matter what comes. And finally, pray for the souls of all involved to see God and to know Him. We all need Jesus, now and always…so we ask God to give us more of Himself and to make Himself known through the messiness of this adoption.

Lamentations 3:21-23

But this I call to mind,
    and therefore I have hope:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
    his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.




We’re Adopting Again!

Well we seriously never dreamed we would be writing this post so soon, but we are in the adoption process again! Yall, it has been a complete whirlwind these past few months between working to get Lucas’ adoption finalized and then finding out we had another little one on the way, it’s been CRAZY!

On August 30th (keep in mind that Lucas isn’t even 4 months old yet at this point and we later realized it was exactly 1 year from the day we sent in our paperwork to FAC!), I got a phone call from our social worker telling us that Lucas’ birth mom was pregnant and was wondering if we would be open to adopting the baby. Whoa! I am pretty sure I was in shock for a good week, but immediately following, I called Jeremy who was quick to say, “Well yes…how could we not?” Jeremy and I couldn’t imagine not pursuing this further. We both felt confident that the Lord had set this in front of us to say “yes” to. So, not knowing many details at all, we decided to move forward.

Here are a few details we do know: The baby is due either at the end of April/beginning of May and we will be going to Iowa again for the delivery! That means we will have ourselves a set of Irish twins…a pair of siblings less than 12 months apart. The baby will be a FULL sibling to Lucas!! How special is that?!? Blows my mind! And can we just stop and praise the Lord for the way this brave birth mama values life?!?! We are so grateful!

There have been MANY moments already of “Are we crazy? Can we really do 2 kids 11 months apart? Can we really afford another adoption right now?” but through all of it, God has reminded us that He is faithful, His plans are higher than ours, and He will provide a way for us to do all He has called us to. So, here we are again…adopting! The first thing we ask is that you would join us in praying. Yall, we need SO MUCH PRAYER! There are a lot of details yet to be worked out and we are simply endeavoring to walk in faith. Below is a list of a few specific things you can be praying for as the process unfolds:

  1. For us to trust God. Like I mentioned, there are a lot of unknowns right now and we want to continue to trust the Lord with the details of the adoption as they are slowly worked through.
  2. For God to provide. Adoption is expensive…and two adoptions in a row is overwhelming at times. We know God is big enough to provide financially for this adoption; He literally owns EVERYTHING, but I know there will be many times in this process that we will forget His provision and lack confidence in His ability to fund what He favors. We need to continually be reminded that not only are we dependent on His provision, but He is more than capable to provide.
  3. For contentment. Yall, to be honest, we had other plans for this coming year and they didn’t necessarily include adding another kid into the mix. We also had a vision for what our next adoption process would look like and in all likelihood, this one won’t look exactly like that. We need to be content with what God has for us. This sweet little baby is the BEST possible reason for our plans to be deferred, so please don’t hear unwillingness or whining in this request. We simply want to remain joyful in whatever circumstances God brings us through.
  4. For wisdom. There are so many tricky things to navigate in an adoption and we desire to be wise in our actions and our words.
  5. For our hearts and our home to be ready for this new addition. There are a lot of practical and emotional preparations that need to happen before the arrival of this baby and we want to be as ready as we can for what is to come!
  6. For God to show up BIG. Adoption is such a beautiful picture of the Gospel and it naturally brings about incredible opportunities to share the love of Jesus with others just by getting to share our story. Pray for souls to be encouraged and even saved by what God is doing with our family. Pray that we will love big and well throughout the process.

I’m sure there will be much more covering in prayer that we will need throughout the entire adoption process, but that’s what I’ve got for now!

The last thing I will leave you with is our first fundraiser!! YAY! We’ve got tshirts for sale again and we are so excited about the design our friend Megan Fowler created for us! Below is the link to look at those and submit your order. The campaign will be active for a month and once it ends, the shirts will be shipped directly to you! Shirts are available in long sleeve, short sleeve, and youth sizes!

We also have a Fundraising page open for any donations. We will work to keep it updated to track progress toward our funding goal:

If anyone has any fundraising ideas or talents/giftings that they would be willing to/like to use to help with the adoption, we would LOVE to hear your thoughts!! Feel free to comment here on the blog or contact us privately! 

Thank you for taking the time to read our update! Be on the lookout for more opportunities to walk alongside of us through the process! It’s gonna be a wild adventure!! 🙂


We’re Matched!!

Hey everyone! Jeremy and I went back and forth on whether or not we would share this on social media this side of the birth, but here goes nothing…we are officially matched with a birth mom!! We decided we want to share this story as it unfolds; to be real and vulnerable in the middle of much unknown! Only 3 1/2 weeks after becoming active, we got a phone call on February 27th to tell us that we were chosen by a birth mom in Iowa who was pregnant with a baby boy due in May! I was sitting at lunch with my mom when our consultant called. I knew what the call was for…she normally emailed, so I just knew. Before I could get off the phone to tell all the details, my mom was crying and getting up to hug me. We very quickly hopped in the car to get to Jeremy (who was working on a Monday due to an RV show). LONGEST car ride EVER! 🙂 After telling Jeremy the news, he was completely useless at work! I’ve never seen him so flustered! There were tears of joy, many moments of utter shock, and so many more emotions! We’re gonna be parents!! We’re getting a son!! Still don’t know if it’s set in! Right now the date is May 3rd or May 10th, but we are told to be ready for anything. The date has already changed 3 times due to several factors, so we will just keep rolling with the punches. We have plans to take an RV to Iowa to be at the hospital for his birth. We will pick up our little bundle and stay at campgrounds until we are told we can come back to NC! It’s unbelievable how quick everything has happened and we are so thankful for this experience so far. Y’all, adoption is so much more wonderful and scary than we ever dreamed and before we are even holding our son, it is more worth it than we can express. God has worked in our marriage mightily as we have struggled, prayed, cried, not trusted, been given grace, gently called back to faith, and learned to love better than before. Our hearts have been flooded with love for this beautiful mother who’s selflessness and sacrificial love for the baby boy she is carrying is overwhelming. It is an absolute honor and privilege to be connected to this mother in such a unique and special way. Please join us in praying for God’s comfort and peace to cover this entire process. We are so thankful to hope in a God who mends brokenness and brings abundant joy. Pray for God’s hand to continue to be evident. 

With the adoption getting closer at an ever increasing speed, tomorrow will be my last day of work as I have been training my replacement for about 2 weeks now. It’s hard to believe I have been at D&H for two years. They went by so fast and I feel so fortunate to have worked in this place. Life is about to be so different! No more driving into work with my husband, walking into his office for a quick hello anytime during the day, getting a paycheck (ouch), or interacting each day with coworkers who have become friends. Obviously, we can’t see a more precious reason for the change, so we look forward to creating new normals and seeing God’s plans unfold in this new season of life! 

Stay tuned for more on our adoption adventures!! Things are about to get REAL!

…and just like that, we’re active!

Yall…it’s unbelievable how quickly the past 5 months have flown by with the stacks of paperwork, several home study visits, countless appointments, and constant fundraising…but we are so excited to finally share that we are officially active! YAY! We are now in the waiting phase (a phase with MANY ups and downs as we’ve heard!!). In this stage, we will have cases sent to us that we will choose whether or not to be presented/considered on. For the cases we choose to be a part of, the birth moms will look over our profile and we will wait for one to choose us as adoptive parents for her baby. Once we are matched and baby is born, we will be traveling to whatever State the baby is born in and will stay there for around 2 weeks while both States sign off on us traveling home! Crazy right?!?!?!

There’s so much for us to do while we are waiting to be matched. To be perfectly real, we are just hoping for enough time to feel like our heads are on straight! 🙂 It’s overwhelming (in the best way) to think of how our lives will change in the matter of a few emails and phone calls. Jeremy and I are really trying to savor every last minute we have left as “just the two of us” as we also try to scramble and get our hearts and home prepared for children. The foreseeable future will be jam-packed with all of our normal routines plus getting a nursery together, gathering all we will need for traveling (when it’s time to finalize the adoption), praying, and hopefully reading some great parenting/adoption books.

So far, the adoption process has been better than we could’ve hoped for. We’ve learned and grown so much! We’ve LOVED our partnership with Faithful Adoption Consultants as well as Nathanson Adoption services. The people we have been able to connect with have been so kind and so helpful. We would HIGHLY recommend them to anyone who is looking into adopting. Honestly, we really feel as though we have the best support system anyone could ever ask for. Our friends and family have blown us away with the ways they have loved us, celebrated with us, and supported us through every single little step. We can’t wait to see what they will all do once there’s a squishy little baby (or babies) to love on as well. 🙂

Stick around to keep hearing more updates on the adoption process! So many unknowns ahead!!!

In the meantime, please don’t forget to come out February 18th to show your support to our friend Seth and to us at the Album Release Concert!! It’s just $5 a ticket at the door and it’s gonna be such a great evening! All the proceeds from the evening will go toward our adoption and you’ll get to enjoy some awesome music!!


Christ Covenant Church

Hey everyone! I know our blog has been much more geared toward the adoption and cancer updates lately, but I’ve got a bit of a different life update to share today.

As many of you know, Jeremy has been given a passion and gifting for leading worship. Over the past 2 years (since we’ve been married), he has faithfully served the body of Christ through student ministries at Summit and using his specific gifting to lead at various local churches on Sunday mornings. Several months ago, God began to stir in Jeremy’s heart to be using his gifts deeper through using them effectively in one local body. Shortly after that, we were approached by Christ Covenant and asked to consider a part time position for Jeremy to lead worship at their church. After several weeks of prayer, counsel, discussion, and some tears, we were convinced that God was calling us to make this change.

So beginning this first week of February, Jeremy and I will be transitioning to Christ Covenant Church. We would be so grateful for prayers as we make this transition in the midst of so many other transitions. Change is especially hard for me, so I don’t believe it’s a coincidence that all this change is happening at once. We believe God has great plans. We are believing God will bring about deep community for us at our new church, that He will teach and grow us there, and that He will use us to bless others as a result of us being there. We are incredibly sad to be leaving Summit, our small group, and our students. It’s kind of a funny place to be when you want to tell God “no” in the beginning of a decision making process, but truly can’t because you know God’s will is for you to say “yes.” We by no means take switching churches lightly; it’s a weighty decision. We know that this move will be blessed as we are being faithful to what God is calling us to and we look forward to what He has planned for us. We believe the best is yet to come for us, Christ Covenant Church, and the Summit Church and we are just grateful for the privilege of being involved in His plans.

Album Release Concert!!!

Alright yall…as promised, I finally have details on that exciting event we’ve been talking about for months now!

Many of you already know Seth Davey, but for those of you who don’t, I will just say that he is both very talented and very generous. Seth has just created his first solo album and will be holding an Album Release Concert February 18th and it will be $5 at the door for a ticket!!

Seth created this album very specifically to bless others both through his music and through the money generated by it. He has asked Jeremy to be a part of the concert by playing a few songs with him and has graciously chosen to give all the proceeds from the night to our adoption fund. This is going to be an incredible evening that you won’t want to miss! Help us make this event a huge success!

Below is the flyer with all the details you will need to know!


Cancer and Adoption Update

Well I feel really behind on posting updates, so bare with me as I hit multiple areas of life in this post.

First, here’s a little update on how my mom is doing. Everyone has been so kind and thoughtful to consistently ask me how my mom is doing, so thank you for that. It is a great encouragement to us that she is in your thoughts and prayers. Mom is doing well. She is such a trooper! She just finished up her 5th chemo treatment of this cycle and we received news last month that the CT scan and blood work results revealed that treatments are shrinking the cancer!! Praise the Lord! Another small update for mom is that she now has a port. For those of you who are familiar with what that is, it’s basically a small, surgically implanted, device (up near the collar bone) where the doctors can easily access the bloodline for treating with chemotherapy. Mom has been stuck countless times over the past 6 years of treatment and it has NEVER been easy to find a vein for treatment, so she finally gave in to getting a port before this last treatment. The port will stay in place in between treatments (even if there is a several month break in treatments). Along with the new port, Mom also had some genetic testing done to see if she has a specific BRCA gene that could be linked to her cancer. While the outcome of these test won’t necessarily change the diagnosis, it could provide extra treatment options/guide treatment more effectively. Mom’s spirits have been high and she is still trusting in the Lord’s plans. We are truly grateful for all the love and support we have received from family and friends!

Now, for the adoption update. This is another area of our lives that has been so surrounded with love, support, prayers, and inquiries for which we count ourselves as extremely fortunate! We FINALLY received the State document we’ve been waiting for (for 9 long weeks) in the mail yesterday, so we can actually schedule our final home study visit! YAY! Everything is getting more and more real as we get closer to becoming active (able to have our profile shown to birth moms). Once we complete our home study, we wait for it to get approved and then we send all of our many, many documents over to our consultant group. After that, we wait. We wait to be chosen by a birth mom as adoptive parents. Honestly, we are kind of excited about this waiting period…we don’t know how long or short it will be (kind of hoping for at least several month), but we believe this time will be sweet for us. The past several months have been full of running around trying to get everything in order to even be able to adopt, so we are looking forward for a time to prepare our hearts and our home for our growing family! Jeremy and I are treasuring this time that it is still just us, even as we eagerly anticipate adding a member to our family! We covet prayers for our hearts to be still, to trust in the Lord’s timing (even if it surprises us), and for preparations to become parents!

Still along the lines of the adoption, I wanted to give a short fundraising update! Once we have an approved home study, we will be able to submit applications for grants. There will be a few matching grants that we may do, so keep an eye out for those! We are about 21% funded so far and are truly blown away by people’s generosity. We still plan to order at least one more round of t-shirts if we can get this 3rd order built up (if you’re interested, there will be a link at the bottom of the post). It has been so cool to see people wearing our shirts. We have been blessed by photos sent to us, hearing how much people love the shirts, seeing instagram/facebook posts, and even running into people while they have them on. Thank you so much to everyone who has already purchased the shirts! 🙂 The dear friend who designed our shirts held a fundraiser all last month for us through selling her artwork. Yall, I don’t even know how much was raised yet, but I can tell you that the act of someone choosing to use their talents to bless us is more beautiful and encouraging to us than we can say.

And to keep the blessings rolling, we have another dear friend who is using his talents to help support us. I mentioned (I think in my last post) that there would be an exciting opportunity to support us coming up. I still don’t have many details to share on this event yet, but I will say, we have a really great evening for all of you to attend coming soon (hopefully in January or February). The only hint I can give at this moment is that it will involve some sweet music 🙂 Trust me, you won’t want to miss it! I will share more as soon as I can!!


Here is the link to our t-shirt order form:


And here is the link to our crowdfunding site where you can give online: